Selfish
by primadea
Summary: Prequel to Selfless. Cecilia and Steve meet and begin something that ends in a way neither would have guessed. In between the beginning and the end they learn that where one of them is open and willing to try, the other one is scared and prefers to walks away. Sometime, when something ends, something more beautiful begins. Everything happens for a reason. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

_**I was recently asked to tell the story of how Cecilia and Steve met. **_

_**So here it is. **_

_**I would like to dedicate it to Newyorklghts who gave me the idea to write it up and post it here for you. **_

_**Have a great read!** _

Cecilia had been invited to be a panelist for a national conference on mental health. It wasn't her first time she attended every year for the past ten years, as a panelist for five consecutive years. She lived in DC, so this time she did not have to travel, though she had taken a room at the hotel just so she could stay close enough to sleep in. It was always nice to sleep in, specially in hotel rooms. She was also hoping to get some time to enjoy the bar on the 20th floor. She had just signed in, gotten her name tag and care package and was making her way to the elevator in order to drop everything off in her room before her conference. She had half an hour to spare. More then enough time.

As the doors to the elevator closed, she saw a hand rush forward and desperately push the doors open. A tall, well built well dressed, man walked in, he was wearing a sports jacket with a pair of nicely fitted jeans, Cecilia was sure she would enjoy seeing him go, as the saying went. She caught him catching her giving him a once over, She blushed, he smiled.

"You are Doctor Gaillard. I attended your last conference in Toronto and Chicago last year. I started using some of your methods of a few of my patients." She looked at his easy smile. "Sam Wilson, I work with veterans, PTSD." He offered his hand and she shook it, he had a strong hand shake.

"Nice to meet you. And how did you find they reacted, I found people found it less stressful, a much less traumatizing way the what most therapist have been doing for years."

"It worked quite well for most of my guys, some preferred to stay with how they were used to. Change can be difficult." She smiled at him, He seamed easy going.

The elevator dinged and Cecilia said her goodbyes, shaking his hand one more time before walking to her room. She dropped her car package on ther bed, quickly changed into something more "Professional" and left her room, heading back to the conference floor.

The weekend had been long, and boring, mostly always the same people, asking the same question, expecting different answers. No you could not rush someone through therapy, yes it was a long and arduous road, and yes, people always, always kept scars. It was something no one really wanted to hear. You could help, you could work hard at trying to make someone better, but you could never get them back to how they were before. NEVER.

She got home, and poured herself a Whiskey, she hadn't even been able to get to the bar in the three days she was at the convention. Instead, she had hung out with Sam, he was nice, and they could talk shop just as much as they could shoot the shit, without batting an eye. He was cool to hang out with. Good thing he also lived in DC, they'd be able to hang out, maybe go running some time, or train at the gym. She needed someone to keep her motivated.

She slipped out of her stilettos while listening to her messages and sipping her drink and already wishing for another. Three calls, two from her mother asking her if she was going to come to Bryan's wedding, and the last call from Bryan, asking her if he could over to "talk" things over. Neither of those things was going to happen, She was not going to her step-brother's wedding, and he was DEFINITELY not coming over to "talk" things through. That sick son of a bitch. She finished her first drink and poured herself another, a double. And how had he gotten her phone number anyways. She would need to fix that.

A piece at a time she got undressed, throwing her clothing here and there on the floor and furniture. Walking back to the bottle on the counter, Cecilia poured herself another stiff one. It felt so good on the way down, the burn was something she had been waiting fro since 7am this morning. Her phone cell phone chirped, and she went looking for it, somewhere under one of her discarded clothes. She shrugged and let it be. She wasn't in the mood to text or talk or chat or what ever, with anyone, right now.

Cecilia had found she was a very functional drunk, or was it a very drunk functional. She wasn't so sure all of a sudden. She shook her head, downed the drink and poured herself the last one for tonight, her bottle was empty and she was not planning to go out tonight. Was she?, she shook her head again, no she wasnt, she was going to get to bed and sleep. And not dream.

Cecilia was running her third mile by 7:30, meeting up with Sam at mile 4 she still had a bit to go. When she reached the meeting point she found him easily, stretching his hamstrings, talking to tall blond very, very good looking man. She looked him over one more time, and realized he looked familiar.

"Good morning Sam, Good morning Captain Rogers." She let Sam hug her hello, and shook the Captain's hand. "You guys ready for a run?" She saw Sam sneer at the other man, seemed there was some kind of a inside joke.

"Call me Steve mam." He smiled at her, a bright Colgate smile, She smiled back. He was just as stunning in person as he had been on the news, a few weeks back, when the Helicarriers had fallen from the sky and destroyed a large part of the city. She had seen him and a woman get attacked and fight back under the bridge near downtown. But this, seeing him now, WOW.

"Cecilia. Nice to meet you Steve." She let the men talk it out as she strutted off at a light jog, waiting for Sam to catch up with her.

"So, thanks for joining me this morning, I find I perform better when I am accompanied." Cecilia snorted, had he just really said that. Out loud?! "That's not want I meant. I meant, I mean, I don't like running alone." He grinned at her and she smiled back, they had an easy understanding. It was comfortable, no expectations, no pressure. They had simply found each other, and become instant friends.

They ran three miles, Cecilia had lost feeling in her legs about two miles back. And Sam seemed just as ready to call it quits as she was.

"Time for a shower and a coffee." She agreed. They said their goodbyes and Cecilia jogged the half mile to her office building. She had a locker room and spare clothes that she could change into. It was better then going back home and getting to work late.

The day was just like any other day, she worked on the different teams, made sure the new councilors were ready to take calls, and took a couple of meetings. The usual. By the time she was going down the escalator to her waiting taxi, she saw the guard at the front door arguing with someone she knew. Someone she knew and did not want to talk to. EVER.

She managed to by pass the front desk and dive into her cab before her step-brother even realized she had been there. Heading home Cecilia made the decision to as k for a restraining order. She was sick of this shit.

The next morning she met with Sam again, and was disappointment to see Steve was absent, though she learned from her new friend that the tall blond had been quite interested in her and had even asked Sam for her phone number. Which he had generously shared. They ran a few miles, before saying their goodbyes and heading in different directions. Cecilia went home. She had decided to work from home today, she needed her space.

The next few days were the same, running in the morning, then home or to the office, depending on her mood. She was lucky she had the freedom to work from home. And she thanked her lucky start everyday. She had worked hard to get where she was now, and she didn't regret a thing. She had invested a lot of her own money in the original project, and now, ten years later, it had bloomed in to a very important nonprofit-organization. A endeavor she was very proud to be a part of.

Her phone rang, looking at the screen she decided to let it go to voice mail, it a rule of hers to never answer "unknown" callers. The phone stopped ringing and she felt it vibrate a few seconds later. She had a message. Curious, she called her voice mail to see who it was, you never knew, it could be important. She punched in her code, pressed the 1 to reach her new messages and was surprised when she heard Steve's voice.

"Hi, It's Steve Rogers, umm Sam gave me your number and, well I was wondering if maybe I could take you out sometime. So, yeah, umm call me, like, anytime, really." She heard him dictate his number, memorized it and punched into her phone as soon as the voice mail was over. She pressed the green call button, and held her breath. She heard the ring, once, twice, three times, before she heard his voice.

"Cecilia, I am so happy you called me back." He seemed sincere and she could hear the smile in his voice. "How are you?" She giggled inwardly just a tad. Relishing the thought that she was actually talking to Steve Rogers on the phone and that he wanted to take her out.

"I am fine, thanks so much for asking, how are you?" She heard him laugh a bit.

"Nervous actually, I wasn't sure you would call back. Natasha was the one who said you would but I wasn't so sure. Seems I owe her a beer. She heard a sarky remark in the background but paid it no attention.

"Well, I called back." She was smiling now.

"Yes you sure did. I wanted to see if you would let me take you out. I was thinking... " She heard him say something muffled, then heard a few loud Pops. "I was thinking we could go to a nice restaurant, maybe a movie." She heard him swear, then heard another loud pop. "Would tomorrow night be OK for you? I should be back by then."

"Where are you now?" She was curious

"Yukon, It's a long story." She heard a very loud "bang" "So, tomorrow night?"

"Sure, tomorrow sounds great, just make sure to come back to me alive OK." She heard him chuckle.

"Sure thing. See you then." He hung up. Leaving Cecilia dumbstruck.

He had just answered her call, during a firefight in Yukon... What a man!


	2. Chapter 2

That afternoon she had gotten a call from Steve to confirm their date, seems he would make it back into the city in time for their date. But maybe just a tad later then he had originally planned.

At seven thirty she was ready, all dolled up as they say, her hair in a high pony tail, a tiny bit of lip gloss and eye shadow. It was all she dared to wear. A nice pair of jeans and a loose top. It would do. There was a buzz and Cecilia ran to push the button to let her guest in the building's front door, opened her apartment door so he could get in as she ran to find her purse.

Finding it she walked back to the front door to greet Steve. Who wasn't there, instead, she found Bryan, standing in her entry way, closing and locking the door behind him, a sick grin on his face. Shit.

"Don't you look good, were you hoping I'd come by." He staked towards her, his hands touching her things, looking around he seemed to approve."Nice digs Maryse. You are really doing well for yourself.

"You can't be here, I am expecting someone." She gulped, she was far from the buzzer, she would never be able to get to it with Bryan standing there.

"So a date, wow, my little sister is growing up." He sneered. She knew that face, she knew how this was going to end, she could feel it, taste it, he was going to kill her. She just knew it, but before that, he would make sure she suffered, just like she had years ago. Before she left, before she moved away, before she changed her name and made herself a new life.

"Really, you should go. Please." He chuckled.

"WOW, You really need to work on your begging, don't you remember how to beg, you used to be so good at it. So exquisite. It gave me chills." He was so close now, she could feel his breath on her forehead, her eyes stuck on the floor, she refused to look up.

He didn't move, just stood there. So damned close.

"Look at me." And her resolve was broken, so easily pulled back to her old life. So easily beaten. It was already over, she had lost, he had won. Just like old times. She looked up at him, his clear blue eyes just like she remembered. Her lips trembled and he lifter her chin higher so her lips would touch his.

"Did you forget who you belong to while living here in DC. You are quite far from home little Maryse." She could feel his lips brushing against hers as he spoke. "Remember what I said I would do if you ever ran away?" She nodded, how could she forget. "I would hurt you. Make you scream, just like before. Make you cry, make you bleed." She whimpered.

There was a knock at the door, Cecilia yelped as Bryan nipped at her bottom lip, making it bleed. Quickly she dodged under his arm, throwing herself away from him. He moved, pushing her against the coffee table and she crashed through the glass table top. The knocking at the door intensified as Cecilia was panicking, now screaming, as her step-brother was kicking her in the ribs. It hurt, but yet she kept breathing and yelping, she could hear the knocking at the door , frantic, before there was a loud crash and suddenly, nothing, no more kicking, she breathed, trying to get up. She looked around Bryan on the floor, Steve standing above him, livid.

She saw the look on his face, pure disgust written all over his features. Though still gorgeous, he looked positively scary. Bryan tried to get up and she saw a white knuckled fist smash into his face, once, twice, three times, before she heard herself asking him to stop. Steve looked at her, She could see the pity in his eyes. He let go off her sad excuse for a brother and came to her. Kneeling on the ground, careful of the glass.

"Come on Sweetheart, lets get you to the hospital." He gently picked her up, holding her to him, so close she could hear his heartbeat. "You're safe. I got you." He kicked the attacker in the ribs for good measure. He walked out of the apartment, crossing the lady next door and told her ti call the police, grabbing his phone he called Sam, explaining the situation and asking him to come clean up while he brought Cecilia to the hospital.

Whomever that man was, he would be taken care of, Steve would see to it. Gently he deposited her in the back seat of his car and drove.

It was so bright, her head ached, everything sounded hushed. She opened her eyes, only to shut them instantly, much to bright. She heard a rushed apology and tried again, this time the lights were dimmed and she could see her surroundings. She was on a hospital bed, everything hurt, breathing hurt. Looking around she saw a man leaning toward her, blond, blue eyes. Steve. She remembered, he had come right on time, he had saved her.

"Hey there Captain." She heard him chuckle.

"Nice to see you awake. You gave me quite a scare." He leaned in closer, taking her hand in his. "You got a broken rib, a few more bruised one, nothing serious, you, my dear, will live to see another day." He smiled at her, a nice honest smile, the kind you rarely see.

"Thank you." She was crying, "thank you for being there, for getting there in time. Thank you Steve." He kissed her hand, tears in his own eyes. Why would anyone do that to someone.

"How long was I out." She changed the subject, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"All night." He looked at her, kissing her hand again. "I'm sorry that happened to you. But I can guarantee it never will again." She believed him. "Sam cleaned up your place, but the door is busted and I didn't feel right letting you stay there for now, so he moved some of your things at my place, for now." He blushed. "Hope you don't mind." She tried to shake her head but it hurt to much.

"You don't have to do that. I'll be OK." She saw him look at her sternly.

"Nonsense, I won't let you stay there alone, not like you are now, besides, I have a big place, I could use a roommate." She smiled, sure, she would more then willingly let him bully her into this decision. She nodded her head, slowly.

"Fine Steve, but just for a few days." He smiled back, nodding as well. He had such a beautiful smile, she was sure she would do anything to have him smile at her like that forever.


	3. Chapter 3

The hospital stay was brief, only a few days to make sure she was alright. By the time she got out, Steve was waiting for her curbside in front of the hospital's main doors. Holding the passenger door open for her. She sat, cringing at the pain, hoping getting out would be easier then getting in.

He drove her to his place, talking the whole time, he seemed as nervous as she felt. they reached a large apartment building with underground parking. And he led her to the elevator and then his apartment. All she could think about was getting a drink, three days sober was more then she could handle. Specially under the circumstances.

"Here we go, home sweet home." He led her inside. It was a large, airy two bedroom, open concept kitchen and huge living room with a beautiful mantled fireplace. She loved it. The kitchen had a breakfast bar, leading onto the counter and in front of the large window, with a pretty big balcony, sat a beautiful wood dining table that could easily sit twelve people. It was simply yet classy, functional and comfortable. Just what she liked. She could see herself living there.

He showed her her room, with a en suite bathroom that also led to the entry way hall, pointed to her his room, and made quick work of showing her where everything important was laid out. Smiling, he showed her the closet where some of her stuff was already hanging.

"Wow, thanks for this Steve. I truly cannot thank you enough." She pulled him into a light hug, wincing in pain, before getting on her tip toes and kissinghim on the cheek.

"That's OK, I have room here, it gets lonely. It was the least I could do." He always seemed so damned sincere.

Cecilia kissed him again, this time making sure to miss his cheek. If Steve seemed surprised he didn't let on, his arms coming to rest on the small of her back, gentle, no pressure. He kissed her back lightly, shy almost. Before hearing her moan and diving in, deepening the kiss until they were both breathless. She stepped back onto her heels, He was so much taller then her. And silently, walked into her designated room. She needed a shower. Three days at the hospital and she was far from feeling fresh.

Steve was blown away. He liked her, he had liked her since meeting her in the park with Sam, in fact, he had purposely asked Sam for her number, something he NEVER did. Their first date, hadn't even started yet that he was bringing her to the hospital, and now, she was in his apartment, taking a shower, after having kissed him. He couldn't get his silly grin off his face. He was really interested. Of course he didn't want to go to fast, wanted to take his time. Get to know her. He was a bit curious about what had happened at her place earlier this week, but that could wait, first thing first he had to make sure she was OK and taken care of.

The hot shower was heaving on her sore muscles, but the cuts on her face and body didn't seem to like it quite as much. She took her time, then she dried herself and got dressed, comfortable yoga pants and a a sweat shirt. She brushed out her hair put it up in a messy bun and went out to find her host. She found him in the living room, a drink in hand, relaxed. He saw her and poured her a drink, handing it to her. Cecilia accepted it, thanking him with her eyes. She really liked him. He was polite and sweet, and so good to look at. She truly wanted to get to know him, for the first time, EVER, she wanted to take the time to get to know a man. In a real way, not just for a fun night out. Not that she would mind. He eyed her with a shy grin, remembering the kiss she had given him earlier, and that he had more then willingly participated in.

He sat on the couch, some smooth sounds coming from the turn table at the other en of the room. Cecilia sat across from him, in a very large, very comfortable looking chair. Her legs folded under her body, she got comfortable and sipped her drink. Enjoying it after the few days of forced sobering. He looked at her, looking away shyly when she caught his eye. She thought it was cute, a light giggle left her throat as she sipped her drink. He looked up at hurt, a hurt look on his face.

"Did you just laugh at me?" He was holding back a smile.

"No, I am trying to charm you." She felt honesty was the best policy. "Is it working?" She asked coyly. He blushed even deeper, looked at her, unbelieving.

"Well, yes, I think it is, actually." He hid his embarrassment by swallowing the rest of his drink. "So, how about you tell me what all that stuff was about at your place the other day." He needed to know more about her before he jumped into something, sure he was attracted, very attracted, she was everything he had always been attracted to but never felt he had a shot. Even now, as Captain America, he would not ever have dared to hit on a woman like Cecilia, she was, out of his league. He saw her get uncomfortable, get up from the chair, take his glass and hers to go and fill them back up at the counter.

"That was complicated." She said as she closed the bottle. "Bryan... how can I say this. Well... he is he has been obsessed with me. For a very long time." She walked back to the couch, handed him his glass. "My mother married his father." She saw him wince. "He has, Issues, can we leave it at that?" She asked naively. He nodded his head, maybe she needed more time. "I'm sorry I just really don't want to talk about it." He took her hand in his, pulled her down to sit on his lap. She kissed his cheek.

"It's OK, I get it, BELIEVE ME." He chuckled, Cecilia brushed his cheek with her fingers, gently pulling his face towards her, he went willingly, his hand loosing themselves in her hair as he closed the gap between them and kissed her. She was receptive, he pulled her closer still, holding her tight against him. He moaned in the kiss, felt her smile. They moved away from one another, Cecilia leaning her head on his shoulder. Breathing him in. He smelt good, fresh, clean, manly. She liked that, very much. He played in her hair, his fingers gently caressing her neck as he twirled her locks around his finger, feeling her shiver under his touch. They stayed like that for a while, listening to the music, a nice comfortable silence.

Cecilia felt so comfortable, she fell asleep in his arms, Steve kept her like that for a while, enjoying her feel against him. When he finally decided to put her to bed, he picked her up, gently, and brought her to her room, pulling the comforter and sheets down, he laid her down, making sure to tuck her in. Her hand was fisted in his shirt and she refused to let go.

"Don't go Steve, stay with me a bit, Please." He whispered his agreement and walked to the other side of the bed, he took his jeans off, his shirt, getting comfortable, before laying down under the covers. He stayed on his back, not wanting to crowd her, until he felt her turn around and cuddle close to him, her head on his chest. He breathed in the smell of her hair, of her skin, he pulled her against him, closed his eyes and fell asleep, content.


	4. Chapter 4

Waking up to a sweet feminine smell, something soft under his arm, he pulled closer and breathed in more of the flowery smell, fresh, clean. He opened his eyes, a mess of brown hair splayed on the pillow in front of him. She cuddled closer, moving her hips against him. He grinned, remembering he had fallen asleep with his guest. He help her just a bit closer, hoping she would stop moving those hips against his morning hard on. He might be Captain America, but he was no angel. Though he might appear to be to some. Since his being awaken from he ice, Steve had seen the difference between the women from the forties, and the women he was working with and socializing with now. Much more secure, more in tuned to what they wanted, and way, way, way more aggressive.

He liked that. He liked that a lot. He had had a few "encounters" in the past few years, but nothing that was worth a long term investment. He wasn't sure what he was missing, what he was looking for, a certain something he couldn't out his finger on. But whatever it was, he hadn't found it. Or maybe he had.

He moved his thumb in a circle in her skin, her top had ridden up a bit and his hand was laying flat on her stomach. She purred, he shivered. WOW that was sexy. He gently nuzzled her neck, making his way to her soft skin so he could kiss her shoulder, her neck, behind her ear. She purred some more, holy shit that just made his morning "Affliction" so much worse, and him so much more needy.

He felt her stretch in his arms, moan as her joints popped. She groggily turned over to look at the beautiful piece of man next to her. He was so cute, sleep still in his eyes, his hair all messed up. He had slept with her all night, she had felt him snuggle and move them into a comfortable spooning position. This was a first for Cecilia, sleeping with a man. Her golden rule, never stay the night, never let him stay the night, did not seem to apply for platonic, maybe not so platonic relationships.

"Good morning gorgeous." He smiled, wide, bright, beautiful.

"Good morning Cecilia." He moved closer, his lips taking hers in a slow lazy kiss, of course she let him. Kissing him back just as lazily. He moved back, groaning. "If you want me to stay a gentlemen, this might be the right time for me to go grab a cold shower." He felt her slide her arm over his side, her hand on his back, pulling herself closer. He could feel her, all along his body, she was hot, soft, he had any hope of walking away without making an ass of himself, this was it.

"Maybe I don't want a gentleman. Maybe I just want you." He felt her breath on his collarbone. She was tempting him, teasing him, and for once, he truly just wanted to give in. Maybe for once, he could be just this side of bad. His hand went to her hair and he pulled her to him, kissing her just one more time, one more kiss then he would leave her bed, and jump into a cold shower, the colder the better. She kissed him back passionately. Her hands moving on his body, the hand caught between them was making its way to his boxers, Steve didn't realize what she was doing until it was to late, her hand wrapped around his girth, he moaned in her mouth and felt her smile. He was damned.

She moved her hand on him, gently, slowly, giving him time and many chances to walk away, but he didn't instead, he kissed her more. More passionately, more in need, more dominant. She was on fire and it felt as if only he could save her. She wanted him, needed him, more then he had ever needed anything. But she let him control the kiss while she her hands were playing him like a musical instrument, caressing, stroking, pumping. The noises he made were pure sin. He was such a turn on. His hands were on her as well pulling her to him, softly stoking her hips, thighs, her back. He was all around her and she loved it.

Steve pulled away, resting his forehead on hers, breathing heavily. His eyes were blue, deep, dark, heavy lidded. They stayed still, not moving, just breathing. Her hands still on him, his hand still stroking her hip.

"Are you sure you want this, want me?" He seemed shy, hopeful, unsure. He saw her nod, lightly. Quickly he let go of her, turned to the bedside table, pulling the drawer so hard it came undone, clanking on the floor, he grabbed something from the floor, tearing a packet with his teeth, he grabbed the rubber pulled his boxers off in one swift move, and slid the rubber on, while on her side, Cecilia had already gotten naked and back in the warm bed.

She could feel him taking control, but being gentle, afraid to hurt her. He pulled her to him, his eyes full of something she couldn't name, lust, need, passion, no it was something more. He kissed her, moved her under him, pulled himself up on his palms, looking down at her, his hand caressed her thigh and hip, he pulled it over his, hooking it on his back, opening her to him, and then he pushed in, looking at her, serious, patient, entranced. Cecilia loved every second of it, to see this man take control of her, to have him take her, so sure of himself when just seconds ago he had been shy and demure. He bottomed out and she moaned. She felt him pepper kisses all over her collarbone and breasts, his hands moving around driving her nuts. When he started moving in her she though she would die, he filled her so perfectly, hit spots she never knew could be hit in this position. It was mind blowing.

Steve took his time, he liked looking at her, kissing her, touching her, being in her, feeling her from the inside. It was amazing. She moved her hips, bucked under him, she wanted more, faster, harder, more. And he made it his pleasure to bring her to her peak, over and over. He took full advantage of his super human stamina, taking her to the brink, bringing her back, loving the noises she made underneath him. When finally he was ready to let go, he felt her nails on his back, her lips on his neck, her teeth grazing his neck, and he lost it. She bit down, just hard enough, he felt himself rise higher then he had ever been, and suddenly he plummeted, and it was the best release he had ever felt.

They both lay there, breathless, Steve leaning his weight on his elbows, his forehead leaning on hers. Eyes closed, still in their own little world. He moved off her, she repositioned herself on his chest, it had been one of the best sessions she had ever had. He had been gentle yet in control, sweet yet demanding, his touch was so soft, his eyes were so passionate, he was full of contradictions. She loved it. She had let him take it where ever he wanted, missionary was not her preferred position, but it had worked for both of them. Maybe next time, she could show him a few of her tricks, because, there was most definitely going to be a next time. Cecilia did not want this to be just a one time thing. She wanted to be with him, fall for him, feel for him. Maybe she could even fall in love with him. And hopefully, he could fall in love with her.

Cecilia cuddled closer, his hand playing in her hair. Steve was grinning ear to ear. This was not his usual way of being with a woman, usually he would take them out a few times, then he would go in for the kiss, sure he was a bit slow on the uptake, but he liked the wooing. It's how he had been brought up. But this, this was awesome, no wooing, but so much flirting, no winning and dinning, but such passion, no taking his time, except in making her make all those sexy noises she made so well. He definitely did not regret his decision to not take a cold shower. She had given him a few outs and he had refused to take them. She was a very sexually aggressive woman, and he loved it. This, them, together, would be epic. He hoped.


	5. Chapter 5

A slight shaft of sunlight came through the window and the drapes, giving the room a blueish hue. A light breeze coming through the open window. His eyes liked what they saw, a mop of brown hair splayed on the pillow next to him, a soft rounded body warm against his skin. Her rump suggestively pushing into his groin area, his left arm around her waist, his right under the pillow. He breathed her hair in, loving the smell, the feel of her against him. He could get used to this. A phone rang and she stretched in his arms, turning to face him with a content smile. Her green eyes full of unasked questions, and a sliver of embarrassment. The phone rang again, she twisted away from him, grabbed it from her bedside table and got up, walking away from him, naked as the day she was born.

Steve stayed in bed, waiting for her to come back to him. And she did. She sat on the bed, her back to him, She seemed unsure. Sitting up, he brought his lips to her neck, leaving light kisses, licking, nipping, just enough to get her attention.

"What's wrong Sweetheart?" He brushed her hair away from her back, up and over her shoulder, so he could get a better angle, and continued kissing her skin.

"Nothing, I was just worried this would be awkward, that's all." He smiled. his lips dropping another kiss on her shoulder. "It's not, so .. I guess that's good." He heard her giggle a bit.

"Yeah, It definitely is." He closed the distance between them and pulled her backwards against his chest, making sure to be gentle, to not agravate her cuts and bruises. He let his hands roam on her body, moving to her front and cupping her breasts and he continued peppering kissed on her neck. Hearing her moan confirmed he was doing something good. He was about to try and talk her into another bout of sex, when his phone rang. Being the hero that he was, he simply had to answer it. He got out of bed, an apologetic look on his face, bent down to kiss her lips, before exiting the room and closing the door behind him. Leaving Cecilia to cuddle back in the warm sheets and get a few more hours of rest.

By the time Cecilia got out of bed, it was well passed morning, her muscles ached, she was sore all over, but it felt good. Steve had been gentle, yet vigourous, and for the life of her Cecilia simply could not find fault with that, try as she may. She smiled to herself as she poured herself a cup of coffee, walked into the living room and out on the balcony, it was a gorgeous summer day. She found a long chair and lied on it, relaxed though not quite sure how she would manage to get herself back up once it was time to get back in. She hadn't seen or heard Steve since she had gotten up, she imagined he had probably gone to work. The fat that he hadn't mentioned it to her didn't bother her, though she would have appreciated a goodbye kiss.

Cecilia stopped her thoughts for a second. Were they a couple now? Was she his girl? Or what ever they called it way back in the forties? She was full of questions, and a bit to embarrassed to ask. She would just wait and she, the last thing she wanted to seem like was clingy, Cecilia had never been in a "real" relationship, so, this was virgin territory for her. She would let Steve take the lead, and make sure she didn't fuck it up, she really wanted to have something special with him.

Walking into his apartment, Steve threw his bike keys on the table in the entryway. He was tired, the night of passion had not been quite as generous to him sleep wise, as it had been to Cecilia. He smiled to himself, though it had been worth it. He was hoping he could be just as tired the next morning. His grin becoming wider. He could get used to waking up with a beautiful woman in his arms, he hoped Cecilia felt the same. Sure it was going fast, but they were both adults, they could manage a whirlwind relationship. He hung up his coat, walked into the kitchen, noticed the coffee machine was empty and the guest bedroom door was opened, looked around casually, and found his lover on the balcony, leaning against the bannister, appreciating in the view. Just as he was.

He slid the glass door and joined her, stepping behind her and trapping her inside his arms. Automatically, his lips seeked her neck, she giggled, he absolutely loved the noises she made, her squeaks, her giggles, her groans, her moans, it made him hot just thinking about it. She twisted in his arms, facing him, and his lips found hers. She responded with vigor, moaning in his mouth, her arms coming around his neck, it was the best hello she had ever gotten, bar none.

That night, Steve cooked dinner, he had bought fresh chicken and veggies, had prepared a unctuous vegetable soup, followed by butter chicken, one of his recently favorite recipes, with snow peas and sweet potatoes. He had refused her help in any way, truly wanting to take care of his girl, make her feel special, show her his best selling points. Last night had been one, dinner was another, soon he would have her swooning, he chuckled to himself.

"What's so funny Lover boy?" She smiled at him, teasing.

"Just thinking about how I am going to sweep you off your feet." He responded seriously.

"Stop trying, I love this, this is great." She moved to his side and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for everything."

He snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her close, kissing her lips softly.

"I really want this to work out Cecilia, I really like you." She smiled as he kissed her again. He saw her blush, served the plates as she moved to the large dining table. They both sat down across from each other, eating while making small talk, his hand holding hers across the table, his fingers making circles on her soft skin. It gave her shivers. She liked shivers, it made her feel alive. He made her feel alive.


	6. Chapter 6

**_This is the last chapter for "Selfish". _**

**_I hope you liked it. _**

**_Now don't forget, "Selfless" is still being updated regularly._**

Too nice, was that an actual thing? Too polite, too sweet, too... too much. Cecilia was seriously in need of her own personal space. He was everywhere, in her bed, in her shower, in the kitchen, cooking for her, taking her out, opening the car door... it was maddening. She wasn't used to it, and though she truly wanted to have something with him, this, what ever this was, would not work. Steve was just to nice of a person, he was not what she had expected, her was, well too much. She loved the man, but not in a way she wanted to love him. She saw him as a great friend, she loved the time they spent on the couch, watching movies, or talking, the sex was great, but the rest, way too much.

She thought about her options, she had never broken up with anyone, and no one had ever broken up with her. It wasn't something that had ever been needed. No relationships meant no broken hearts, it was so much simpler that way. She breathed out, at least at work, she had some peace, he didn't follow her here. He texted and called, but did not follow. Cecilia was tired, sitting in her office, a bottle in one hand and a half empty glass in the other. Relaxing. Granted, she loved their nights together, they were great in bed, they fit, like pieces of a puzzle.

She thought back to the night before. It had started with a hot bath "a deux", followed by a full body massage, she had lost her though processes after he had begun to kiss her EVERYWHERE, and she had willingly let him. He had venerated her body like she was a God, and his ministrations had ended not so very early that morning. To say that she was tired was the understatement of the year, that man had stamina. She felt sore, but content.

She managed to think about it to much for the rest of the day, but by the time she got home, the soft music was on, dinner was simmering, and Steve was waiting for her, ready and willing to do just about anything to make her happy, and THAT made her cringe.

"Hi Baby, how was your day" Of course he would start with that. He took her coat off her shoulders and hung it on the hook near the front door. He took her in his arms and kissed her hello, which she returned halfheartedly. She was sure he had noticed. His whole body went rigid, his face changed expression, a hurt look on his face. Cecilia was such an easy read. "What's wrong?" She stepped away, looking at him, a guilty look on her face.

"I.. I can't do this." He looked at her, confused. "I can't be this. Whatever THIS is. I, I ... Steve I need a break, this is just to much." He looked at her again, not sure he understood.

"You want to break up?" She looked up at him expectantly. saw him breath out a huge sigh of relief. and an embarrassed smile crept up his lips. "I love you Cecilia, don't get me wrong, you are a great girl, but this... whatever it is, it's just to fast." He looked at his feet. "Tough I'll miss the sex; emotionally, I am just not ready for this. I mean, I want it, with you, but now... I just feel like a blubbering idiot. Like I try to hard, all the time." She smiled, walked into his arms and let him hug her.

"I can't do relationships Steve, I tried, but it's not for me, I feel... trapped." She looked up at him, shyly. "But, sex, that I can do." She saw him think about it, saw him turn over in his head what she had just said. I took a minute, but he slowly, tentatively, leaned down and kissed her lips. Just a slow deep kiss. He was accepting her proposal. Knowing full well she couldn't be his woman, but accepting what she could give him. Friendship, companionship, sex. She was comfortable with that, and hoped he would be to. She liked Steve.

He stepped back, leading her back to the kitchen, he felt a bit hurt, but mostly relieved. He had to much on his plate these days to be trying to work a relationship out, specially with a woman as messed up as Cecilia. He knew she drank, way to much then was healthy, knew she had family issues, had read her file, and knew he would never be able to fix her. She would never let him. She had never opened up to him about any of this, and he knew she never would. But he did want her in his life, maybe one day, she could be more to him, could be his girl, maybe even more, but for now, he enjoyed being with her, as a friend, and as a lover. He could TRY and do the "fuck friends" thing, as Natasha so cruelly put it. Why not, at least, if he didn't like, he knew he wouldn't loose a friend, he knew Cecilia would be there.

"By the way, your landlord called." Cecilia looked at him. Worried. "He says he started eviction proceedings. That he got a lot of complaints about you, for the mess the other day... You need to find a new place." She burst out laughing. This was just the last hing she needed right now. She sat on the floor and continued laughing. "Stay here, you know it's not a problem. You have your own room, and well, I'd like it if you stayed." She stopped laughing, though about it. Nodded.

"Just for a few weeks, give the time to find a new place." Steve offered her his hand, pulled her up, and led her into the kitchen. They ate in silence, both of them having a lot on their minds. Cecilia was wondering where she would be putting all her stuff, maybe she could move her sofa to her office. That would be a great place for it.

Steve brought out ice cream, and they moved to the living room, watching a movie, cuddled, this felt right. No pressure. Neither of them needed pressure in their lives. Not more then they already had. Now that it was official, they were roommates, everything seemed to fall into place. That night, they slept together, in the same bed, cuddled close. Neither of them though they could give that up. There was something comforting about not sleeping alone. And for that they had each other.

Steve's phone rang during the night, waking both of them up, Answering quickly, Steve left his room in order to not keep her up. She heard tidbits of the one sided conversation, before Steve bursts into the room, grabbed a few tings, his bag from the closet, fillet it. Barely looking at her.

"They found Bucky, I got to go. He is in Alaska, of all places. I'll be gone a few days." He crawled to her, over the sheets. To kiss her good bye, a chaste kiss. "I love you, remember that. Take care of yourself; I'll call you as soon as I know what's going on." She kissed him back, hugged him tight and let him go.

It would be her first night alone in her new apartment.


End file.
